The alarm clock chimes it’s five a.m, our flight’s at ten, five hours 'till then
Our bags were packed the day before, carefully weighed ‘cause we know the score Check-in’s at eight and the airport’s an hour, I’m out of bed and in the shower Leaving plenty of time to make the trip, I make a cuppa and take a sip Four cases full, why so many? Mostly ladies clothes I’ve hardly any Still must be sure to cover all weathers, I’m surprised she hasn’t packed the leathers The engine turns, bursts into life, I’m in the car but where’s the wife Checking the house just in case, come on my dear or we’ll be late We hit the road it’s cold and dark, must get to where we have to park Then catch a bus which seems to come, further than where we started from The airport looms, the drop-off zone, did I remember to bring my phone Because we always have to text to tell our friends what happened next We leave the bus we’re all so jolly, we search to find a luggage trolley Along the paving stones we push, why aren’t they smooth, we have to rush Must get in line to check us in, kids are screaming, what a din We shuffle along waiting in turn, the check-in girl is looking stern As anyone else messed with your bags? she says as she puts on the tags Our bags are weighed, they’re down the track, they crash as they fall off the back To Security we swiftly go, our boarding pass we have to show The scanner pings and I’m dragged aside, honestly I have nothing to hide I forgot the coin that was in my pocket, the security man gives me a rocket At last we rest in the departure lounge, hundreds of people just sitting around A call is made but no-one hears, the flights on time but no-one cheers We check the screen, Gate Fifty Two, a mile to walk but what can you do? In another room we stand and wait, ten minutes before they open the gate. This flying business is such a pain, but now at least we’re on the plane. Oh joy I’m sat by someone big, he digs his elbows into my rib I feel a poke into my back, oh great a child whose parents lack The sense to control their fidgety lad, this flight is getting really bad Headphones on I try to snooze, the flight crew serve the food and booze Soon we’re told of our descent, my legs are stiff and my arms are bent With a gentle bump in Spain we land, the sun is shining on the sea and sand Off to the carousel we go, soon enough our bags will show Another trolley we have to move, foreign pavements still not smooth? We make our way to the car rental, the paperwork just drives me mental Waiver for this, waiver for that, a waiver in case I kill a cat Eventually we get the keys and search the car park until we see The car we’ve hired and in we get, and luggage loaded off we set. Two weeks have flown our skin is tanned, seems ages since we made our plans Bags packed again this time with haste, must get home, no time to waste Hire car dropped, no trolleys to spare, no doubt on a bumpy pavement somewhere Another journey but in reverse, this flying on planes can be a curse Next time I think I’ll take the car, not to Spain, it’s much too far A trip to Wales or even Devon, no flying hassle would be heaven No passengers we might dislike, perhaps The Lakes where we could hike Hang on, but don't we need the sun, when it rains in England it’s not much fun So if holidays need far off lands, once again it’s time to plan For next years break to sunnier climes, check the dates, check the times Search the ‘net and TripAdvisor, although sometimes you're none the wiser As long as we can leave the rain, I guess we’ll be travelling by plane. |